If I’m going to be honest, I don’t feel entirely comfortable putting my feelings out there and letting the world read about them (which is ridiculous when you think about it as I am completely anonymous on here – except to the three people who know me).
So my blogs have always skimmed the surface of my feelings. I’ve tried to make my blogs more of an entertaining read than a truly honest account of what’s really going on inside my head and my heart.
But today, I just want to be honest and say how I’m really feeling.
I have no idea what to do now.
Every specialist or so-called ‘expert’ gives me different advice.
If I search on the internet to try to find some answers, I am confronted by endless horror stories that upset me and make me even more worried.
Every time I feel more positive or hopeful, something happens to bring me right back down again.
I’ve begun to avoid seeing and speaking to the people closest to me because I don’t think I have anything to offer.
I hate not having control over any of this.
I can’t think about anything else any more.
I usually know what to do next but now I just feel at a loss.
Actually, I feel lost.
Please can someone come and find me?
Until next time.