Saturday, 14 August 2010

Homicidal urges and chocolate cravings

I’m now well into Cycle 13 and just days away from THE TEST.

I’ve been taking Cyclogest this cycle for the fourth and final time. I’m not sure they could have come up with a stickier, messier, more inconvenient substance to shove up your lady bits but the bastard does lengthen my luteal phase so I’m grateful for that at least.

I’m really trying to be positive this time but sobbing uncontrollably because I’ve forgotten my Amazon log-in and swearing like I’ve got Tourettes because we’ve run out of ketchup makes me wonder whether I may be just a touch pre-menstrual.

Can you even feel pre-menstrual when you’re on Cyclogest? Quite honestly, the least that horrible gunky white stuff should do is take away the homicidal urges and chocolate cravings.

So the dread of peeing on that digital stick of doom/joy is well and truly starting to kick in now. I’m already planning my bunking-off-work excuse just in case. So far over the past year I’ve used:

The washing machine’s exploded

The boiler’s broken down

There’s a leak from the flat upstairs

I’m snowed in

I can’t move my neck

I’ve got a dodgy stomach (4 times)

I have to take the cat to the vet (I don’t have a cat)

The thing is, if the test doesn’t go the way I want it to, I need to think seriously about what to do next. I’ve been set on getting pregnant naturally and there’s a big part of me that wants to carry on that way but a year down the line and I’m starting to waver. Trouble is, I have no idea what that next step should be.

I really hope I don’t need to start thinking about it.

Until next time.

Juno

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