My Day 9 scan was done today.
And the numbers are: five follies on my left and three on my right. The biggest is 15mm, a couple are at 13mm, a couple at 11mm, and the rest from 7 to 10mm.
I can't help but compare this to my last cycle when at this stage I had six follies on each side and a good number were in the 17-20mm range - the ideal size for egg collection. Plus, I've been on a higher dose of Gonal this time - 300 (up from 225) so I had higher expectations to go with it.
To sum up, none of my follies are up to scratch yet. One is getting close and four others are thinking about it. The rest are having a nice relaxing time doing not very much.
So I have another scan set for Friday and in the meantime I keep taking the drugs in the hope my follies decide to perk up and get in the game.
Truthfully, I'm finding this tough now. I feel mentally drained. All the family stuff that's been going on since my niece died is taking its toll. I pretty much lost sight of why I'm doing the ivf and have just been doing my best to get through it.
But if I stop and think about it, if I look around me, I know that I'm lucky. Yes, you heard me. Even though I'd never have chosen to go through this shit, the bottom line is I am going through it. But I still have options, I still have the opportunity to do ivf. I know there are lots of women of all ages who would give anything to be able to do it but for whatever reason - biological, financial etc - they are unable to.
So in support of these women, I'm going to take a deep breath, dig into my reserves and see this thing through with as much strength and dignity as I can find. And who knows? I might even end up with my baby...
Before I go, please join me in sending love and strength to @lilytaj and @DeadCowGirl, who both had failed ivf cycles this week. Thinking of you both...