Wednesday, 19 January 2011

Dear embabies

I know you’re just a bunch of cells at the moment but I wanted to let you know a few things.

When we started this journey of trying to get pregnant, I thought it may not happen instantly, mainly because of my age and because sometimes it takes me a bit longer to get to where I want to be. But I knew from the start I’d keep going until I got there because there is no other option for me than having children.

And so we tried and tried and tried some more. We kept going for 18 cycles. And each unsuccessful try tore into my heart a little more.

I started to worry about time running out on my fertility and so we got help from medical science. At that point I left my dignity at the door. I’ve jabbed needles loaded with hormones into my body every day for nearly six weeks. I’ve let endless numbers of medics poke me, prod me, shove things up me, take things out of me and turn me inside out with their forms and their questions until there was nothing left of me to hide.

And it has all left me bruised - physically, emotionally and mentally.

But out of it has come a great thing. Two embabies to call our own.

And so I sit here typing this with you both inside of me, and I want more than anything to look after you, to protect you, to get to know you, to be proud of you, to love you - for as long as I’m here.

Please please please stick around. It will break my heart if you leave.

Your almost mummy

xxxxxx

6 comments:

  1. Such a moving letter. You and your precious embabies will be in my thoughts. xx

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  2. This brought tears to my eyes. So perfectly expressed. Thinking of you and your embabies.

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  3. Hey! love your post, so sweet!
    I'm sending you positive sticky thoughts all the way from Malaysia, you keep those embabies safe and sound, will be looking out for how you're doing on twitter too. Hope the embryo transfer procedure all went ok and that you're managing to take it easy.
    C'mon you embabies!
    Moon xx

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  4. What a lovely post, it brought a tear to my eye. Hope your little embabies do stick around & that they're nice and cosy in there.

    xx

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  5. ah bless you - you have me blubbing away - what a very special post. i hope that little embabies do a good and very sticky job for you.
    will be watching with bated breath - tentitively excited for you
    much reiki love and blessing coming your way xxx

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  6. Sending you sticky vibes that they stay around for nine months or so ;)

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