Four little fighters

We had six eggs collected yesterday and today we have four embryos.

I'm proud of my body for doing what it needed to do through all the crap that's going on at the moment.

We have four little fighters.

We're still in the game.

Day 9 follie report - could do better but I'm still lucky

My Day 9 scan was done today.

And the numbers are: five follies on my left and three on my right. The biggest is 15mm, a couple are at 13mm, a couple at 11mm, and the rest from 7 to 10mm.

I can't help but compare this to my last cycle when at this stage I had six follies on each side and a good number were in the 17-20mm range - the ideal size for egg collection. Plus, I've been on a higher dose of Gonal this time - 300 (up from 225) so I had higher expectations to go with it.

To sum up, none of my follies are up to scratch yet. One is getting close and four others are thinking about it. The rest are having a nice relaxing time doing not very much.

So I have another scan set for Friday and in the meantime I keep taking the drugs in the hope my follies decide to perk up and get in the game.

Truthfully, I'm finding this tough now. I feel mentally drained. All the family stuff that's been going on since my niece died is taking its toll. I pretty much lost sight of why I'm doing the ivf and have just been doing my best to get through it.

But if I stop and think about it, if I look around me, I know that I'm lucky. Yes, you heard me. Even though I'd never have chosen to go through this shit, the bottom line is I am going through it. But I still have options, I still have the opportunity to do ivf. I know there are lots of women of all ages who would give anything to be able to do it but for whatever reason - biological, financial etc - they are unable to.

So in support of these women, I'm going to take a deep breath, dig into my reserves and see this thing through with as much strength and dignity as I can find. And who knows? I might even end up with my baby...

Before I go, please join me in sending love and strength to @lilytaj and @DeadCowGirl, who both had failed ivf cycles this week. Thinking of you both...

6 out of 8 ain’t bad

I feel like I’m now into the heart and soul of this IVF process. This is definitely the part that requires the most reserves of energy and strength.

On Wednesday afternoon, the clinic nurse called to let me know my egg collection was definitely set for Friday and that we needed to be at the hospital for 11am. As there’s roughly 36 hours between trigger and collection, I was instructed to do the trigger shot at 12.30am that night – or technically the following morning...

The injection itself was fine, it didn’t hurt any more than any of the others, but somehow it just felt different. To me, that needle was loaded with emotion and significance. After all, this was the final push to get my 10 follies to release their eggs, which could soon become embryos, which could one day become our baby or babies.

I didn’t get much sleep that night.

Thursday was injection-free but I was very nervous about what the next day would bring. On Friday we got to the hospital half an hour early but annoyingly they were running really late so we weren’t seen until 2pm. Those were a looong few hours during which DH was asked to produce his ‘sample’ and I was asked to verify my name and date of birth by about 50 different people. I started to doubt it myself after a while.

The collection team were lovely – the doctor, the embryologist, the handsome young anaesthetist and his assistant all instantly put me at ease. Having been nervous that I might be too ‘aware’ during the procedure, I actually had a lovely little sleep and woke up as they were finishing.

I felt fine after the sedation. As the local anaesthetic and painkillers wore off during the day, I felt a bit tender but didn’t have any pain and 48 hours later it’s almost back to normal. And the best bit – they collected eight eggs from my 10 follies! The wait for the embryologist’s call the next day to tell us how many had fertilised was nerve-wracking. We were incredibly relieved and happy to find out six of the eight fertilised. Yay!

And now we wait again for the embryologist to call tomorrow morning to tell us how the six are doing. If at least two are still going strong, we’ll have a 5-day transfer at blastocyst stage. If the quality isn’t so great they’ll ask us to go in for the transfer tomorrow. Once we know how many embies have survived and their quality, we’ll make the decision about whether we transfer one or two (but we’re leaning towards two if we can).

It’s weird to think a part of us is in a lab in west London, while we’re getting on with life as normally as possible in Hertfordshire. I can’t imagine how it’s going to feel to have those little embies put back inside of me, and I’m afraid to imagine either outcome when we test a couple of weeks down the road.

So, I’m taking this one step at a time and for now I’m praying hard those six little embies are getting stronger by the hour and that we’ll get some good news with tomorrow’s call.

Until next time

Juno ☺

Will that be one egg or two?

Had the Day 9 scan today to check how my follicles are responding to the IVF meds.

A retroverted uterus (tilted backwards) and a bowel trying to hog the limelight didn’t help proceedings and the nurse had to manoeuvre that implement in ways I didn’t think would be possible.

Still, we got there in the end and it turns out I have 10 follies maturing – six on the left and four on the right. I know some people get lots more but it seems like this is an acceptable number. Suppose it means we have a chance of getting up to 10 eggs collected...unlikely but possible!

The surprising news was that the follies have developed quicker than anticipated and some of them were already up to 16 or 17mm – which means they’re pretty much at the size they need to be for egg collection. So EC has been brought forward from Monday to Friday this week.... Fuck. And shit. This is the bit of the process I’m most nervous about as it’s the most invasive but now I’ve had time to process it, I have to say I’m relieved it’s happening sooner - at least it will all be over by the weekend.

So I inject the Buserelin and Gonal one more time tomorrow morning, and the clinic will call me tomorrow afternoon to tell me what time to do the trigger tomorrow night. Then Thursday is injection-free – might just stab myself with a fork a couple of times so I don’t get withdrawal symptoms...

And now The Husband and I need to think about how many embies we’d transfer if we have the choice. I’m 38 so I’ll have the option of transferring one or two. Bearing in mind my age and my ever decreasing fertility, we’re both leaning towards two. Plus, we’d both be happy with twins. Actually, I think I’d be over-the-effing-moon with twins! But we’re not quite decided yet as we know there are risks with multiple pregnancies/births.

I’ve had some amazing advice on Twitter but please please please let me know if you have any info or advice on this – need all the help I can get!

Thanks lovelies.

Until next time

Juno ☺