Round 2 - here we go again

It's been a long while since I blogged, and a lot has happened since. For a start, I have a 14 month old son called Samuel. He is just beautiful in every way and I feel like the luckiest person on earth.

There's obviously so much more to say and I'll try to gradually fill in the gaps over time but the reason I've come back to my blog now is because the possibility of another IVF cycle is looming. I guess I feel like I need an outlet and my blog helped me so much last time.

The thing is, we'd love a sibling for Samuel and because of my age (41, eek), we thought we'd better get cracking - so to speak. So when Samuel was only 7 months we started trying. I can't honestly say I was ready and it felt like a massive betrayal to Samuel (still does), but time is not our side.

And 8 cycles of trying down the line, with no luck once again, I thought it was time to think about next steps. I suppose first and foremost I want to check everything inside is still in working order and that childbirth and/or my age hasn't made my uterus shrivel up or my ovaries fall off.

So yesterday I went to see our IVF consultant. I basically love him because he helped us to get Samuel. I also love him because he's charming and bordering on handsome (although just on the wrong side of the border), and because he has dancing eyebrows. They dance independently of each other but at the same time. It's fascinating.

Sadly but predictably the consultant agreed that time isn't on my side and that I should get the inside of my uterus and my ovarian reserve checked. Plus The Husband needs to get his little guys tested. He said if we're thinking of going through IVF again we should wait until nearer the time so the results are as up to date as possible just before we go through a cycle.

So now we need to think about timing. It's weird thinking about going through an IVF cycle again. We're in such a different situation now we have Samuel. The intense longing and desperation aren't there although the feelings of inadequacy that my body can't seem to do what it's supposed to do are creeping back in.

Still, I'm reassured by the fact that it's worked once before (albeit our second cycle) so I could and would deal with it again. Now we just need to decide when...

(I don't know if anyone will read this, especially anyone I used to 'know' in cyberspace but if you are and I do, hello :) )

CD1 – The IVF Cycle

Yesterday, I had hope.

In the morning I spied some pinkish/brown spotting and Dr Google told me that yes, this could be implantation bleeding. As I was only at CD19 and there was no more bleeding during the day I held on to the teensy bit of hope that maybe, just possibly, my body had finally done what it’s supposed to do and just in time too. Yeah right.

This morning, I got my period.

Well, that was a short cycle. Makes me think I probably didn’t ovulate after all. Who knows? Who cares? It’s done.

So it’s CD1 of the 18^th cycle since I started trying – The IVF Cycle.

I called the nurse at the clinic to ask if they’d still start my drugs on CD21 bearing in mind how short my cycle was. She suggested I start them on CD17 instead to make sure I get in a few days before my next period starts.

After checking the calendar, I realised this means I’ll be starting the drugs pretty much on the date we’re supposed to move into our new house. I was hoping to be in and settled for a week or so beforehand.

But what the hell. Bring it all on.

Until next time.

Juno ☺